Before you go all feministic on me, my wife works, too. Our kids go to daycare and love their friends there. My wife and I are almost equal when it comes to parenting. She tends to spend a little more time with the two year old because I’m just not a Baby Guy. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies. But I don’t know how to bond with them to the extent my wife does.
I catch up when they get older. My son is old enough to rough-house and is very chatty so he can let me know what he wants. Our daughter is getting to that point but she prefers her mom.
With that said, there is nothing about parenting that I dread. I love my kids. I love hanging out with them. Of course, after I’ve spent an afternoon alone with them, I love the break when my wife takes over – but I love being a dad.
I have a good, well-paying job and I work with great people. But I dread it. Oh, do I dread it. My alarm goes off, I trundle out of bed, grab my coffee, dress for work, and get in the car. From there, I do a lot of sitting. A lot of ass-kissing. A lot of pushing people into something they don’t want/need to reach nearly unattainable goals. A lot of bullshit. Everyday.
I consider Stay At Home Moms and Dads lucky. Not because what they do is easy, but because it’s generally enjoyable. They are doing some of the most important work you can do on their own terms. I’d love to know what that kind of autonomy feels like.
But what I really want to talk about is our culture of “work.” Why, in the United States, we value a longer work week. We don’t value time off (do you know how hard it is to get time off?? And when you do, your boss or that woman who has a desk close to you has to say something passive aggressive about it.) Jesus Christ, even if you’re sick! They either don’t believe you if you call in or think you’re weak for staying home. Why go to work when you’re sick and expose everyone you work with (clients, coworkers, janitors, etc) and their families? My wife got 3 months of leave with both of our children. I got two weeks. Crucial bonding time with my children was stripped away from me by my job because they see “work” as more important (maybe that’s why I’m not a Baby Guy – maybe I would be one if I had had more time to bond with them). Requesting more time off would have likely caused resentment and could have eventually cost me my job if I had taken it.
What is wrong with our culture? Why can’t we truly “working smarter, not harder?” Work really hard for four days of the week and have a longer weekend? Or work less hours of the day? Let’s be honest, most of us probably spend a good amount of time twiddling our thumbs trying to figure out how to fill up our whole work day.
How do we fix our culture of work in the US?
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